You know what they say about guys with big feet, don't ya?

My friend Karen and I were at a club in downtown Lexington one Friday night. This particular club had "Hot Ass" competitions for guys on Friday nights, which is why Karen really wanted to go. I was DD, so I knew I was only going to be able to have one beer the whole evening. That doesn't exactly get me in a party mood, so I let her run off to stare at guys' asses for the time being. While I was standing there like a sacrificial lamb, this guy came over and started talking to me. This was not an unusual occurrence. I tend to be a freak magnet. That's part of the reason why my coworkers at my last job loved it when I went out on the weekends - I almost always came home with a good story. Anyway, this nuckfut started yacking to me, and because I'm too polite, and I'm also extremely bad at getting out of conversations, I stood there and took it. He asked me what part of a guy's body I used to judge how "big" he was. Like that whole, "Y'know what they say about guys with big feet, eh? Wink wink, nudge nudge!" I said the first thing that popped into my head, which was, "Um, I dunno... I guess his hand." So the dude holds up his hand and says, "How big do you think I am?" This is probably the only time I have ever thought of a good comeback at the appropriate moment, rather than hours later. I held my hand up to his, and it was the same size, so I said, "I guess you're about as big as I am."

He left me alone after that.